Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Piranha 3D

a review by Russell Pinkston

Based on the 1978 Roger Corman produced/Joe Dante (Gremlins 1 &2, Exployers, Innerspace, Small Soldiers) directed movie of the same name.   But this time....it's in 3D!
Thousands of Spring Break desend upon Lake Victoria every year to party, get drunk and get naked!  YEAH!  But if all the drunk naked people wasn't enough trouble for the local sherriff (Elisabeth Shue....looking all buff and sexy!) now she has to deal with a bunch of prehistoric flesh eating fish that are release when an undercover earthquake freed them from their underwater cave.  The story is believeable enough I suppose.  But most of the characters in this movie are shallow and uninteresting.   And you can pretty much guess who's gonna die by using the Scream method of horror movie etiquette.  You drink...you die.   You're a complete douche bag jerk who snorts coke....you die.  You get naked and swim around in slow motion in 3D glory for 10 minutes....you die....although you shouldn't! 
The makers of this movie really stack the deck when it came to actors for this movie.  You got Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss (who kind of reprises his Jaws role), Christopher Lloyd and even horror director Eli Roth (Hostel 1 & 2) making a cameo as a wet t-shirt host....which was a nice surprise!  Kelly Brook (who's on the September cover of Playboy) and porn star Riley Steele (try seaching for pics of her on the internet and see what pops up) are the typical big breasted eye candy for this movie.   Adam Scott (Party Down) plays a research scientist.  Steven R. McQueen (The Vampire Diaries) and Jessica Szohr (Gossip Girl) are the teens caught in the middle of all this T&A&gore!  Funny man Paul Scheer plays a camera man. 
While it had an impressive cast I think it could have been alot better if it was better written with more depth to the characters (I know these are my usual complaints....but if someone would start listening to me....Hollywood would be making better movies) this movie could have been something really special.  I mean those freaking fish were some of the better scary/horror movie nemisis.  I just hate it in horror movies when stupid people do stupid stuff....and then die.  I just can't feel anything for the characters.  I can't root for someone who is just gonna end up falling down and dieing later.
I only hope that since they have decided to make a sequel that they spend more time on the story.   Don't get me wrong...I love all the T&A but....but in the end that only gets a movie so far.   Granted without the nudity I would have not enjoyed this movie nearly as much as I did.  This movie did have more gore than I have seen in a movie in quite awhie....probably not since Ghost Ship.  Still this was only the second time ever I have had a theater all to my self (the first time was for the craptastic MacGruber earlier this year).
Piranha 3D was directed pretty well by Alexandre Aja....who also directed Mirrors, High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes remake.
Other good movies by the cast of Piranha 3D:
Elisabeth Shue:  The Karate Kid, Adventures in Babysitting, Cocktail, Leaving Las Vegas and The Saint
Jerry O'Connell:  Stand By Me, Jerry Maquire, Scream 2 and Tomcats
Richard Dreyfuss:  Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Stakeout, What About Bob, Mr. Holland's Opus and Poseidon
Christopher Lloyd:  Back to the Future 1, 2 and 3!
Ving Rhames:  Pulp Fiction, Striptease, Con Air and Lilo and Stitch


I give Piranha 3D 3 out of 5 deadly flesh eating fish  

1 comment:

  1. I did not know he directed High Tension. That movie is bad ass and very gory!

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