a true story by Russell Pinkston
This is another Phoenix story. We were coming back from South Mountain (a local hangout that overlooks the valley). I believe the cast of characters were Rey...who was driving, Maggie (Rey's girlfriend) who was in the front passenger seat, than Scott and I were in the back. It was dark and pretty late. We were just on the edge of the city and pulled to a stop at a red light. We sat there waiting. We heard loud TAP, TAP, TAP noice. Was there something wrong with the car? No I don't so... but we didn't know what it was that was making that sound or where it was coming from. We all looked around. Than we heard it again. TAP, TAP, TAP. What the heck is that? Scott and I look out the side passenger window to where a van had also had pulled to a stop at the light. Then we knew what made that sound. The van was a older model not like the mini vans they have today. It was a big rusted beast of a van. Behind the wheel was a a big bearded monster of a man. This guy had a crazed wild eyed look and was he grinning at us? He was looking at us and...TAP, TAP, TAP. In his hand he held a knife...it wasn't just a dinky ol' pocket knife...it was one of those Crocodile Dundee things. It was a "That's not a knife, this is a knife" kind of knives". The blade of the knife itself had to be 12 inches...no really it was a BIG fricking knife. For all I knew it could of been a machete it was so fricking long. The sound we had heard was the man tapping that big ass knife on his window. Oh crap...which I am not exactly sure I didn't actually do. It was dark, we couldn't see. We all started to feel around for something we could use to defend ourselves with. That car had nothing in it. Scott found a old armrest with a screw sticking out (probably a sign on how screwed we were). I reached under Rey's seat and pulled out a big....box of kleenx. A BOX OF KLEENX! What the beep was I gonna do with that! Use it to stop the bleeding after he gutted me? Use it to wipe my ass? Actually it probably could come in handy for that. We were all freaking out and that red light still hadn't turn green yet. We told Rey to run the light. Rey punch it and left the van behind. Maybe he was just messing with us or maybe he already had a van full of dead bodies and had no more room. That guy was death and we never wanted to see him again.
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